You know you grew up in Nebraska if...

(Iowa or South Dakota could also apply for some of these... thanks for passing this along Denice!)

• You don’t have to be told what Aksarben is or that it’s Nebraska spelled backward.
• You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, the University of Nebraska football stadium is the third largest city in the state.
• You lie to other Nebraskans about being from Omaha.
• Kitty Clover potato chips and Roberts Milk were the best part of the meal.
• You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney.
• Back East means Chicago.
• You know that U.P. isn’t an order.
• When people talk about a fly-over state, you think they’re talking about the pheasant season.
• You think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world and you wish you could shoot more of them.
• You’re proud that you have the only unicameral legislature in the country. You wonder what really goes on in those bicameral legislatures, anyway.
• You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed-not bowling.
• You’re proud that Nebraska isn’t one of those square states like Wyoming or Colorado.
• You know that “penis of the plains” is an affectionate nickname for the state capital building and not any of the state legislators.
• You can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face.
• You don’t associate trees with national forests.
• You miss the hog reports on the radio, even though you never owned any.
• You don’t have to be told what “knee high by the Fourth of July” refers to.
• You can’t figure out why Johnny Carson left in the first place.
• You think Highway 6 is more scenic that I-80, which you think is the best thing to come out of Iowa.
• You can drive from Grand Island to North Platte without falling asleep.
• You know that Grand Island has nothing, really, to do with water-except the Platte River, which doesn’t really count.
• You have signed a petition demanding sainthood for Tom Osborne.
• You are still surprised when radio stations don’t include polka on the top 40.
• You can still see the ruts of the Oregon Trail in your backyard and keep promising the wife that you’ll get them fixed.
• You don’t understand why other states even bother to try raising beef.
• You believe that the worst steak in Nebraska is still better than any other steak any where.
• You believe that vegetarians should be banned in Nebraska.
• The smell of a feedlot is really the smell of money.
• The smell of an alfalfa plant in full production can bring tears to your eyes.
• You really believe there is no place like Nebraska. And you are right.