Do you have to grunt?

OK... first of all... I must issue a big shout out to Shannan (if you click... scroll down the page half way for a pic), my long-time friend, who called last night to let me know she and her new hubby are expecting in May.
Congrats sistah!

What you don't know about Shannan, is that she hates the word "poop". Always has... probably always will. (Of course this is license for me to find many ways to use the word in a conversation when we talk... I'm evil. But I tease only the people I love. **wink**)

Anyway, so, I asked her what she was going to say when her baby had to go, (whispered) "Will you say that word you don't like?"

She responded, "You mean poop?"

(And, as she was saying poop on the phone, JTC, who was sitting next to me on the couch, started saying "poop poop poop poop poop poop...over and over again. It was hysterical... but I digress.)

I said, "yes."

Shannan relented, "I might have to use it... but when we were kids my mom called it a BM."

Although she said her sister pointed out when they were older that BM was dumb... because you wouldn't say, "Do you have to bowel movement?"


Of course, JTC was listening to the conversation and weighed in with, "Do you have to go lay some pipe?"

The funniest of all is what my family called it. As I think about it, I can hear Mom asking, "Do you have to grunt?"

No lie.

The funniest part is that I didn't realize how ridiculous it sounded until I was in college. (Yes... the cruel realization of just one of my family's many unique weird but lovable dysfunctional traits is an embarassing story that I will not bore entertain you with at the moment. Let's just say I didn't get out into the world much before I went to college... and have some pretty funny stories to prove it. **wink**)

Later, I talked to Denice and told her Shannan's good news. We were laughing about Shannan's poop dilema and proceeded to go back and forth about ways to say poop without saying poop.

Again... hysterical.

As adults, Denice reminded me that she and Kenny would refer to it as, "Going to the library" because Kenny liked to "read in the bathroom."

Denice's family said, "Number one or number two?" and sometimes "Do you have to go potty?"

The last alternative is probably the most universal... and a little less boring than "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" Especially if you're trying to avoid using the words "poop" or "grunt."

How 'bout you?
What did / do you call it?
Got any embarassing "grunt" stories to share?
Hit me... I can handle it.


RaceBelle said...

Hmmmm - how do I refer to "poop":

1. Going to the potty

I use the word "poop" because I reference the kitty litter box as the "Poopy Tray" - :)


BBLogan said...

Poopy tray... that cracks me up.

I also thought of another one that my brothers say..."I gotta take a dump."

Hope this post isn't offending anyone... but I think the whole topic is so FUNNY.

How immature... don't you love it?!

George B. said...

My sister's ex-husband would say,
"Do you have to shoot a target?"
which would be the same as ye olde #1, and
"Do you have to drop bombs?"
which would be the aforementioned #2.
A military man through and through.